My first post

I have thought a lot about creating a blog after I had Skyler. I threw a bunch of names around, but one that stuck out to me was my confessions as a bad mom. Now, apparently this is a popular name on Blogger because I went through a ton of options that were already taken. Finally found one that was open and here I am :)


Now I want to make something clear right off the bat. At my point in my life, I do NOT think I am a bad mom whatesoever. I think I do my darndest to be the best mom I can to Skyler and the best wife to Chris. Do I fall short a lot? Yes. Do I forgive myself? Yes. Does God forgive me? YES. Does Skyler forgive me? I hope so :) So you are probably wondering why I chose this name?! I joke a lot that if my teenage or even early twenty self could see myself now, she would totally be in shock and disgust. I am actually ashamed of how much I secretely judged moms in the past ten years or so. Knowing what I know now, and let me tell you, it's probably only 10% of what my mom and other moms around me know, I seriously would have slapped my previously self in the face and been like "whatever, you try it."


Needless to say here I am. And I feel like I'm not the only one. I think most women (who have a desire to raise children someday) have a certian idea of what kind of mom they want to be. I mean, I studied the crap out of early childhood. I feel like I know a ton of theories and ways to help grow children. I've worked as a nanny and in childcare, but NOTHING, I mean NOTHING prepared me for what I brought home from the hospital that warm day in April of last year.


It's funny because I remember my mom telling me, like I am sure many moms say, that I didn't come with a manual. I remember thinking about that a couple years ago and wanting to call her up and say, "Mom, there are and I am sure, were, many books out there that could have helped you guys, come on!" Until Skyler came into my life, I think I would have agreed with myself. But she is right. It doesn't matter how many books I read, how many conferences I go to, and how much experience I gain. Every child is different. And it is sure as hell is different raising your own flesh and blood! (Can I get an Amen? No? Not after I said hell? Ok, fair enough:))


Back to this blog thing. So here I am, almost a year later (what a CRAZY year it has been, by the way) and I still feel brain dead. Like I forgot everything I learned in school, through my experiences, and in books. But lets face it, no one has raised Skyler Franklin Kreeger before. I am doing things much differently than what I thought I would. And to be honest, it's a little scary putting this out there. There are still lots of women, who like my former self, judge the crap out of moms. But thats not who I'm blogging for. I am blogging for the moms who are like me out there who need to feel a little better about when they leave their kids the car to run into the post office, or change a poopy diaper on a public bathroom floor because there is no changing table, or lock themselves in the bathroom, away from the children, when they feel like they just might burst (hasn't happend yet, but I wouldn't put it past me in a couple of years..err months :))


Maybe my stories will make you feel better about yours, or maybe you could tell some that put mine to shame. Either way, this is, and hopefully will continue to be a safe place. Blogging can be scary, but I have a good feeling about this. I have a great support system who loves me no matter how many times I fail as a parent :) I hope that you all do as well.. and if you don't, you have atleast one person.. me!


Whew. I think that will be it for today. Nap time is almost over. :)


Have a great day!